Patakas!

This Diwali we ventured out to a special fireworks zone in Gurgoan to buy patakas. It was a vast field in the middle of nowhere stocked to the brim with the best Cock brand and its competitors Turkey and Duck. Hoping that nobody would accidentally light a cigarette we visited the stalls and took pictures of the great packaging on display. Sex(y) still sells and so do kids. We didn't spot any puppies but it wouldn't have been surprising.

There were film stars such as Karina Kapoor and Priyanka Chopra as well as genuinely surprised or lovely looking ladies or both.

There were girls posing with a rocket as if it were a pole dancing pole as well as the slighty daring poses. Whatever sells a rocket.

From sex bombs to real bombs. The bigger and more violent the better. There were muscle men, dynamite and dinosaurs but the unbeatable cornation nazi yeti with machine gun trumped them all.

Usually kids and fireworks don't go well together, but a range of cute kids were either overjoyed or covering their ears in horror.

Last but not least there were the politically incorrect. The unbeatable cornation nazi aside, there were Uma's silicone bombs, stag balls, Titanic drops, burning American flags and a kid holding a machine gun (two categories effectively combined). Mister Bean looked slightly sick of it but Hanah Montana seemed unfazed.